I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
