just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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