I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
