i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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