I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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