lets start a swedish sibling band together
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
