Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize