just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
