So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
