i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
