I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
