i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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