she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What a dumb baby whore.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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