Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
