Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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