is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize