We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
