OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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