I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
