I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
