I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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