I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
