sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
