We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
