why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
