So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
