I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
