First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
