doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
