people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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