Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
