Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and she was petting her beer can
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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