I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
