Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
