Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
