She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize