I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
