Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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