her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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