Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize