Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize