this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize