Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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