what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
