My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
