She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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