You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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