youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
