some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize