today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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