apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
