I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My bed smells like the plague
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize