My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
