I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
