Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
