I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
even my farts smell like vagina
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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