everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There's always time for handjobs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
