I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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