She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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