i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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