the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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