If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
