I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
