I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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