Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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