he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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