i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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