Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
