she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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