whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize