hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
