let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
