the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
